by Maureen Anbar Often, when someone wants to avoid feeling anxious, sad, or any other negative emotion, the mind unconsciously steps in to help. Defense mechanisms are exactly how they sound: automatic mental habits that protect us from distress. You may be faced with something that brings up uncomfortable feelings, and that discomfort wants to be avoided at all costs. To reduce that tension, your mind might respond with a kind of “defense” to soften or push away what feels

When couples reach out to me for therapy, they often say something like, “We just need help communicating.”But communication isn’t usually the root issue. It’s the symptom. Underneath the fights about dishes, schedules, or who’s “always” doing what, there’s usually something much deeper: a longing to feel safe, understood, and connected—but not knowing how to get there.

A mental health diagnosis can bring clarity—or confusion. For some, it’s a relief to have a name for their experience. For others, it can feel limiting or even stigmatizing. In truth, diagnosis is a clinical tool: helpful in certain contexts, but never the full story. Let’s explore what diagnosis can offer—and where it falls short.